Discouraged? Try this!
Hi friends,
This may seem like a strange question - but bear with me.
Who remembers using VHS players to watch movies?
What used to be required to watch a movie
I know there are a variety of ages on this email, and I’m dating myself slightly here, but I’m okay with that. (For the Gen Z / Alpha friends here… we used to have watch movies on video tapes that required rewinding before returning… not just clicking a button and streaming on demand. Rough I know.)
Why am I bringing this up? Because there were all sorts of nuances when it came to using a VHS player. One in particular that I was always annoyed by was what would happen when I hit the STOP button. You’d hear a loud noise and then the tape would come to a complete stop, the screen would go black or turn to static, and then if you wanted to start it start it back up that would take four or five seconds - if all went smoothly.
Of course these are not huge problems, but it was a pain.
Yet, there was an alternative option: the PAUSE button. The difference in the buttons functions was that the pause button would keep the movie frozen up on the screen and allow a quick restart immediately upon touching that button again. Game changer from my POV.
In short: there was a BIG difference between stopping and pausing with VHS tapes and I believe it’s relevant in the consulting I do with clients and in this specific moment in time today.
WHAT I DO WITH EVERY NEW CLIENT
Whenever I work with a new client, there is a request I make. Sometimes they are amiable to my request and sometimes they are not. But in order to be successful in the end - they have to take this initial step. What is it?
Pause.
Not to stop completely and fully shut down like hitting the STOP button on a VHS player, but taking a momentary break. This is critical because it creates an opportunity to reevaluate, regroup, and realign.
It’s not that these clients are unintelligent or foolish without me requesting a pause, it’s that they are exactly like all of us - they are doing the best they can with what they have.
They are just moving forward as they feel like they have to. Life and work are happening. They have been attempting to make it all work with an ever changing set of circumstances unfolding. And often that means they’ve lost sight of what is most important or lost belief they can achieve it.
But without a pause, they just keep going and going and going - whether or not they are headed in the right direction.
So, when they allow me to come in to work with them and I request they take a pause, it’s the starting point to ask them another critical question.
(I actually ask them a few questions - but it all boils down to a simple question that applies to everyone of us.)
THE QUESTION WE MUST ANSWER
And that question features as the very first words I write in my book…
“So, what matters?”
Pastor John Ortberg says, “This world does not teach us to pay attention to what matters.”
That reminds me that considering what matters is not naturally something we are going to get in our day to day.
But just like my clients, that’s the question I want to ask you today.
I also totally realize it’s difficult or confusing to consider in the midst of a chaotic time and the demands of day to day life. And as much as I don’t like to say it, our world feels like it is in chaos by almost every standard. I know so many people who are disheartened and discouraged - some who have been so for years and some who are coming to that place more recently, even just in the last week.
Regardless of length of time or level of frustration, I believe the most important thing everyone can do right now is to take a moment to pause to consider this question.
Because here’s the truth: what really matters completely depends on what you think is most important in the end.
THE BENEFITS OF A PAUSE
Our bodies, minds, and hearts are swayed by what’s happening in the moment. We all know this.
We are built to respond to challenges - of many kinds - in order to stay alive. For me it’s easy to jump to conclusions about all sorts of things I encounter. To lean into something that feels right in a charged moment. To keep going as I have been going or how I feel like I have to keep going.
But a pause changes everything.
There’s plenty of different studies that show the value of pausing, but specifically a recent study out of Duke that suggests that pausing before making a decision allows us to get past our immediate impression and make more thoughtful choices.
In the Bible, the book of Proverbs is full of insightful wisdom to live by, including a handful of references to why slowing down is helpful before pressing ahead with big decisions. A few ways and opportunities to lean into during a pause:
Counsel - “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” - Proverbs 15:22
Clarifying / Fact Checking - “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.” - Proverbs 19:2
Intentionality - “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” - Proverbs 21:5
In short, modern studies are affirming of and ancient wisdom is reminding us that pausing has a ton of value.Our bodies, minds, and hearts are swayed by what’s happening in the moment. We all know this.
We are built to respond to challenges - of many kinds - in order to stay alive. For me it’s easy to jump to conclusions about all sorts of things I encounter. To lean into something that feels right in a charged moment. To keep going as I have been going or how I feel like I have to keep going.
But a pause changes everything.
There’s plenty of different studies that show the value of pausing, but specifically a recent study out of Duke that suggests that pausing before making a decision allows us to get past our immediate impression and make more thoughtful choices.
In the Bible, the book of Proverbs is full of insightful wisdom to live by, including a handful of references to why slowing down is helpful before pressing ahead with big decisions. A few ways and opportunities to lean into during a pause:
Counsel - "Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed." - Proverbs 15:22
Clarifying / Fact Checking - "Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way." - Proverbs 19:2
Intentionality - "The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty." - Proverbs 21:5
In short, modern studies are affirming of and ancient wisdom is reminding us that pausing has a ton of value.
NOW IS THE TIME
Most people - and organizations - don’t have the luxury to STOP. The world does keep moving, but everyone has the opportunity to take a moment to pause and ponder…
What really matters in the end?
Because importantly - when we have clarity about what matters in the end and keep it front and center - it gives us the best chance to actually do it. And just as importantly, it will help keep us from doing things that are not actually most important. From wasting our precious TEA on things that don’t truly matter.
SIMPLE TAKEAWAY
Okay - this has gotten longer than I intended. Yet, this is so important because there is SOOOOOO much noise and distraction and division in our world.
Life is going to keep moving so stopping fully is not really an option, but I hope you can take a pause in the midst of it all right now to reflect on what matters most.
There’s some questions below to help.
Thankful for each of you!
Much love,
JO
WORTHY WINS REFLECTION QUESTIONS
If you’re willing to take a pause in the midst of this chaotic time, here’s some questions to consider…
What do you want to be known for on your death bed?
Are your current thoughts, feelings, and actions pointing you in that direction?
What’s ONE simple perspective shift and action that can readjust your direction that will lead you closer to what’s most important in the end?
In this exact moment, what is one thing you are prone to do (or are already doing) that is NOT leading you to towards what’s most important?
Who are the relationships that will matter the most to you in the end?
Are your current thoughts, feelings, and actions setting those relationships up to succeed?
MY BOOK
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