☎️ Are you ready for ‘The Call’? 💔
Hi friends,
Five years ago this week I received a phone call that altered my life forever.
I wasn’t expecting it.
I wasn’t planning for it.
I definitely didn’t want it.
But ‘the call’ came regardless.
And the only thing I could do at that point was embrace the circumstances and make the best of them.
MY LIFE-ALTERING CALL
It was about 8:30am on a normal Thursday morning when I looked at my phone and saw my stepmom, Jan, was calling me.
That was not a normal time for her to be calling, and it turned out that the reason she was calling was not normal either. She was reaching out to let us know that my Dad had been involved in a freak accident and was on his way to the hospital in an ambulance.
The aftermath of 'the call'
At that point in time, we didn’t know how serious the circumstances were, but it was clearly not good. And if you know my story at all, you know that in the end that accident led to my Dad’s passing.
That day, and season, were brutal and disappointing.
Yet, there was nothing I could do to prevent ‘the call’ from coming.
WHAT IS 'THE CALL'?
If it’s not obvious by now, ‘the call’ is the one that comes in and flips your world upside down. From my own experience and what I’ve witnessed with friends, it usually comes unexpectedly.
Important Truth #1: ‘the call’ is inevitable.
I’m not being morbid here - but at some point every one of us will get this type of call about someone we really love. And each of us will have to respond to it with urgent action. But by the time it comes, everything has already changed. It’s too late to focus on anything other than maximizing survival and service at that point.
What happens after ‘the call’ is really important, but I’m just as passionate about preparing to get Worthy Wins before your phone ever rings.
WHAT IF IT HAPPENS TO ME?
Last Friday a friend of mine got his own ‘call’, personally. All the details aren’t clear yet, but he went from living normally, loving his family and doing his job - to immense pain all over his body and his legs not working. That led to his admission at a hospital and going through all these tests to figure out what happened.
While his circumstances are trending in a positive direction currently, it’s still TBD if it’s going to completely alter his life forever. (He would welcome your prayers for full healing if you’re so inclined. His name is Jonathan.)
Important Truth #2: The call is not just reserved for aging family members.
Regardless of what happens, it shows that we are all, as individuals, prone to getting a ‘call’ - whether for a loved one or with our own health.
THE UNCERTAINTY OF LIFE
I was not sitting around that morning five years ago expecting to get a life-altering call. Nor was Jonathan expecting it last week.
Important Truth #3: “The Call” rarely comes at an expected, convenient time.
Life just rolls along with each of us doing the best we can to make it through the day, loving our families and friends and getting our work done.
But the challenge I face - that I know everyone else faces also - is operating as if things will just continue on like they have been going.
In the New Testament, the book of James has a ton of wisdom for how to live well. Scholars believe the book was written by Jesus’ half-brother and he leaves us with a pointed reminder about what comes tomorrow…
“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring.” - James 4:13-14
I know this to be true from my own experience. Tomorrow can bring all sorts of unexpected things - including getting ‘the call.’
THE BENEFIT OF 'THE CALL'
There is a benefit - I’ll use the term loosely - that happens naturally whenever we get one of these calls: the things that really matter become extremely clear.
In the introduction of Worthy Wins, I share a learning from Psychologist Rollo May:
“The confronting of death gives the most positive reality to life itself. It makes the individual existence real, absolute, and concrete. Death is, in other words, the one fact of my life which is not relative but absolute, and my awareness of this gives my existence and what I do each hour an absolute quality.”
Truth be told, no one wants to get one of these calls, but the reality of encountering death forces clarity and urgency about what matters most.
DON'T WAIT FOR 'THE CALL'
One of the primary reasons I write this email and why I wrote my book is because I believe we don’t have to wait to get ‘the call’ to unlock clarity and urgency.
We can wait… OR we can choose to embrace the reality that ‘the call’ will come - for us or for our closest loved ones - and instead be prepared as best as possible.
What I found in the aftermath of my Dad’s accident was that there were a few things I wish I would have done more of with him. Our relationship was in a good place but how I wish I could have gone out to breakfast at the Original Pancake House one more morning, played another round of golf, or watched just another Blazers game together. I also wish I would have called him more frequently - even for just five minutes on my drive home each night.
If I would have been more clear and urgent before I got ‘the call’ then I would have done more of those things with him.
So, here’s my hope - that my experience would be an encouragement for you to pursue clarity and urgency about who and what matters most now. That you would sharpen your definition of what your Worthy Wins are - and take tangible steps towards them before ‘the call’ comes.
Three areas of clarity that are helpful:
WHO Being extremely clear about the relationships that are most important to you.
WHAT Aligning on what accomplishments will matter at the end of your life, and which won’t.
WHEN Deciding specifically when to take consistent action that will lead towards your Worthy Wins.
There’s a few questions below to help you reflect on those answers and I’m going to send out a tool later in the week that makes getting clear super simple.
Rooting for you!
Much love,
JO
PS: If you’ve read this far, I’d love to hear something that stood out to you from this note! 😁
WORTHY WINS REFLECTION QUESTIONS
If you're interested in pursuing more clarity and urgency now, take a bit of time to reflect on these questions:
WHO - Who is a person you will get ‘the call’ about? (Likely a family member or close friend)
ACTION - What is one consistent action you want to take with that person that is a Worthy Win?
WHEN - When specifically will you take that action with that person?
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